The gym was once my obsession, until it wasn’t.
I loved it, until I didn’t.
I needed it, to heal, but then I healed and no longer knew why I was going.
This was my happy place for so long and then it turned into a chore.
It turned into something I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to not be able to get out of bed because my body was so sore. I didn’t want to have to turn down good food & dinners out with friends.
But regardless of how much time I spent away, in any moment of doubt, I end up back in these walls.
This place, is a sanctuary.
It’s where I go to find myself again and again...and again.
I may never be 100% committed to my fitness journey, but that’s something I have come to accept.
I know that this place will be here when it’s needed. That I don’t have to be afraid of failing or not meeting some ridiculous fitness goal just to look good on an Instagram post.
Some days I workout to numb the pain, some days I workout because the day before I ingested my body weight in pizza, and sometimes I’m here socially.
I think with anything we can find a healthy balance. That instead of putting so much pressure on ourselves that we instantly give up the moment it gets to hard that it’s okay to just accept that sometimes it’s okay to relax, but also to be aware enough to admit when it’s time to kick ass again.
I have a goal weight, an acceptable appearance & a number that I’m not okay with and that’s when you see me check in daily. Then I get back to feeling like me, occasionally workout and maintain a mostly healthy diet.
I applaud anyone who has made their fitness journey a lifestyle. It’s hard work. But it’s a passion they found they had & this just isn’t one of mine.. FOR THE TIME BEING.. that may change, it may not.
The point is, I am grateful to have the opportunity to decide when I want to obsess and when I want to chill.
At the moment I’m here, because I feel like my body needs a tune up, but who knows how long it lasts. Hopefully long enough to hide the aftermath of the massive holiday feast that is right around the corner 🦃
Stay blessed loves 🤪